If you are not in complete shock from the pleasure you create in your body through orgasming, I want to share my techniques for how to orgasm that will empower you to seize control and elevate your own.This is for you, if you:
1. Have asked yourself, “Why can’t I orgasm, or are not regularly experiencing blissful orgasms? I share techniques for how to orgasm and different types of orgasms.
2. You are already the queen of sensational, complete body orgasms and are ready to reach new depths of pleasure in your steamy journey. I share some potentially new techniques for how to pleasure yourself and how to have multiple orgasms.
My first orgasm was an accident.
An eye-opening, mind-shattering, somewhat confusing, but absolutely empowering accident that I stumbled upon while alone one day. For the first time, I was capable of achieving that powerful “O” the magazines I paged through at the grocery store referenced. This was it!
But then I had trouble finding this ecstatic sensation again. I tried doing the same thing as before but I just couldn’t get there. I felt a sense of powerlessness, inadequacy- was something wrong with me? Or perhaps I just need to find the right partner? Something was blocking my newfound power, and I felt frustrated and confused.
And to make matters worse, I felt I needed to show my partner I was capable and in control of my sexuality, so I repeatedly faked orgasms with my partner.
Why was it difficult for my body to achieve orgasm? I didn’t know what to do, or what exactly I was looking for, but I was determined to find my answer: to dig deeper to investigate this secret pleasure my body was capable of… Little did I know then how capable I was.I didn’t find the answers overnight, but over the next few years, I opened myself to new ideas and experiences. I began to understand the importance and power of both mental and physical techniques that freed my body to orgasm, so that faking it never again needs to be my experience. I’m going to share a few useful techniques that will help you ignite your orgasms.
But first, let’s ask, “What is an orgasm exactly?”
The science behind an orgasm has to do with a hormone called “Oxytocin”, referred to as “the love hormone”. It occurs naturally in the body at many points in life, causing you to feel relaxed, more sociable, and sexually aroused, but most importantly for our topic today, a flood of oxytocin is released in the body when you orgasm. The more intense your orgasm, the more oxytocin your body is releasing. The oxytocin from orgasming can cause powerful, pulsing muscle contractions, it can make your heart race, and it releases an amazing physical feeling, sometimes from head to toe.
Yes! Science has discovered what is behind the highly sought-after climax of bliss known as the orgasm.
It’s also important to know that you can reach orgasm in many different ways, not just physical touch. In fact, the majority of an orgasm occurs in the mind. For this reason, if you struggle with stress, demoralizing sexual messages, fear, anxiety, guilt, expectation, or boredom, you could be obstructing your orgasm potential. Before you try the techniques for how to orgasm below, clear yourself of these, especially fear and anxiety, and be sure to relax your body and not only accept but revel in the differing sensations of each type of orgasm.
Types of Orgasms & Techniques
Clitoral Orgasm: The clitoris is a small, nerve-dense body part located right above the vagina. Its only function is to provide salacious sexual pleasure.
Recommended technique for how to reach clitoral orgasm: Explore the area of the clit gently using your fingers first. Apply light pressure in a circular motion interchanged with a gentle tapping of your pointer finger. (For beginners, see my guide to the clit “Cliteracy 101”). Allow yourself to get in a comfortable groove for climax. There are also many vibrators and sex toys for the clit. I love our very own tuLips as it is made to stimulate the entire clitoris, not just the tip.
Vaginal Orgasm: Located on the front vaginal wall of the urethral sponge, which is found in the lower genital area sitting against the pubic bone and vaginal wall, is the G spot that can become highly aroused during sexual engagement. You may need to apply some more pressure and interchange with greater pulses to feel your body respond. Try some controlled deep breathing to activate further sensations.
Recommended Technique for how to reach vaginal orgasm: Lube up a sex toy or your fingers, folding your hand over your public bone, and insert a finger using a “come hither” motion towards your belly button. A fabulous, flexible vibrator for the G-Spot is The Perfect Match, allowing you to stimulate your clitoris and G-spot at the same time for the potential of a blended orgasm. (Named "Best Warranty" by the Sex Toy Collective)
Anal Orgasm: Since the clitoris extends inside the body to the anus, moving further inside the anus triggers the same nerves that respond to stimulation in the inner vagina and cervix, which can create an extremely pleasurable throbbing sensation. Yes, anal stimulation has the power to initiate a powerful orgasm.
Recommended technique for how to reach anal orgasm: First things first… Housekeeping... to feel comfy with anal play, first take care of your cleanliness by emptying your bowls and giving your anus a light wash with soap and water. Finally, ensure you are emptied out by inserting your finger a few inches inside. I admit, this is always my number one fear, but take care of this, and it will be much easier to relax and enjoy it. You will have to enter the right headspace by guiding yourself to becoming alluringly aroused. You may need to incorporate additional stimulation of the clitoris, nipples, or g-spot (feel free to integrate a vibrator for these parts). Do not focus all your attention on orgasm, but rather on pleasure- and your orgasm will follow.
Bonus: Butt plugs are a super fun way to prepare for this sensational experience. Relax and listen to your body. Maintain a high state of pleasure as you explore.
“Wet Dream” Orgasm: I’ll just touch on this briefly, but if you have not experienced a “wet dream” before, they are real. These “nocturnal orgasms” or “wet dreams” occur during REM phases of sleep. They are erotic and can provide a charmingly exciting way to wake up without need for protection. If you find yourself in the throng of a steamy dream, don’t try to wake up! Stay and explore the sensation and you could be rewarded with an incredible orgasm.
Recommended Technique for how to reach wet dream orgasm:
If you have ever dabbled with lucid dreaming or have a high level of sexual excitement, find ways to trigger your dreams by your thoughts before bedtime. You never know, but you may be awakened by your own climax.
Tantric Orgasm or “come without touching yourself”: Seeking out a more spiritually ecstatic and intense connection? Interested in sustaining a high level of orgasmic pleasure for exceedingly generous amounts of time? Formed from the ancient Indian spiritual tradition of sexual practices, tantric sex is yet another way to achieve orgasm.
Certainly not as common in mainstream sexuality conversations as the others, this practice provides a completely different approach to orgasm- one that focuses less on the goal of an orgasm, and more on sustained pleasure throughout the whole experience. This elevates the entire practice, potentially leading to an orgasm without even physically stimulating your pleasure parts. Although tantric sex can be practiced alone by incorporating breath, rituals, and mind exercises, it is also extremely powerful for connecting more deeply with a partner.
Recommended technique for tantric orgasm: Connect with your partner through breathing deeply together, maintaining eye contact, and gentle and intoxicatingly sensual touch that serves as foreplay. This has the potential to lead to high arousal in both parties for an extended period. This is no longer about achieving the big “O” as the objective, but rather remaining in a pre-orgasmic state of connection and pleasure, which has the - exhilarating capacity to spread lengthy orgasmic sensations throughout your experience. (Remember you can also create this experience alone! Be on the lookout, we will be providing you a solo tantric guide soon).
So, how do you pave the pathway to multi-dimensional orgasmic experiences? Here are a few closing points for you:
1. This is very, very important so I’m saying it twice: orgasms don’t happen by physical stimulation alone. The majority of the orgasm occurs in the mind. If you struggle with stress, demoralizing sexual messages, fear, anxiety, guilt, expectation, or boredom, you could be obstructing your orgasm potential; clear yourself of these, especially fear and anxiety.
2. Achieve orgasms alone first to become the expert on what feels best for you.
3. Find the right headspace. Decide your story or what your mind will grip on to; fantasies have the ability to be erotically stimulating. Choose yours.
That’s it for now. :) Cheers to seizing complete control of expanding the depth and height of your orgasmic experiences.
Written by Grace Ho