We do it so that we can release endorphins – and momentarily forget the outside world’s anxieties. We do it to quench our base, erotic natures. We do it when we’re alone (and yearn for excitement) – and sometimes, we do it for no reason at all.
It’s natural, it’s a sleep aid, it reduces stress, and it’s a form of self-care.
What is “It,” you ask? Why, masturbation, of course.
The techniques that “get you off” are relative, and just as personal as the kinds of scents you’re attracted to, but there are a couple of proven “Masturbation 101” tips for your pleasure-seeking. Allow us to share three with you:
1) Sometimes the Build-up is Just as Fun as the Destination:
For women and people with vaginas, the clitoris is the most sensitive erogenous zone. It has over 7,000 nerve endings, and applied stimulation to the clitoral hood (or glans clitoris), usually leads to orgasms.
However, your nipples, neck, lower abdomen, thighs, palms and fingers are also erogenous zones – and shouldn’t be ignored. You can experiment and discover which ones evoke the most pleasure as a form of foreplay.
Try running your nails across your thighs (or lightly brushing across them with a feather); or squeezing, pinching and rubbing your nipples and the back of your neck. Sucking on your own fingers and biting your palm are also good ways to send your body into tender pleasure shocks, as are gently (or not so gently) giving yourself love smacks.
Make love to your full body, and allow yourself to go through a gamut of touches and caresses. There’s no timer, and no roadmap. You dictate the direction and the speed, and when you’re in tune with every inch of yourself, your climax is so much more rewardingly sweet.
2) Up the Ante with Sex Toys:
When you’re ready to take self-exploration up a notch, sex toys can amplify your “me time.”
For instance, our “Girl's Best Friend” two-in-one vibrator and oral sex simulator allows you to create erotic scenarios which likely aren’t achievable on your own. It simulates oral pleasure by using a vacuum technology that softly sucks and pulsates your clitoris, while its other end acts as a vibrator. You can start with a light setting, and then gradually increase the power to “OMG,” allowing you to control your movements and speed.
Sometimes it’s easy to overthink the process and get lost in your individual actions – which removes the rush and ecstasy of the present moment. Toys allow for a surrender that is devoid of any partner. You are surrendering to yourself, to the now, and to your worthiness for sexual bliss and fulfillment; exactly as it should be.
3) Get Lost in the Melody:
For centuries, music has been believed to be a natural aphrodisiac, and was used to heighten the intimate experience of sex. Just think about how many times a song has made you recall a particularly steamy moment, thoughts of a certain person or inspired overall sexual desire. There are sexy playlists on most of the major streaming platforms – and for good reason.
When you listen to music, your brain releases dopamine — a mood-enhancing neurotransmitter that’s also responsible for the rewards and pleasures connected to food, drugs and sex – and when combined with the latter, it creatives a sensory overload.
Try creating a playlist filled with songs that make you feel attractive, aroused, excited and maybe even a little naughty. You can experiment with lighting in combination (i.e. dim lights versus bright ones) to coincide with the “mood” you want to elicit from your playlist.
Additionally, if you’re drawn to a certain kink or relationship style, you can create a “role-play playlist” that allows you to act outside of your usual behavior or demeanor; while being in a completely safe space. For instance, if you have a fantasy of being a dominatrix, you could create a playlist featuring songs revolving around submission, women being in control – or even enchantment and bewitchment. Have fun with it.
In the end, the most important tip to remember is that there is no agenda outside of pleasing yourself – in whatever way is meaningful and most pleasurable to you. Orgasms are natural mood-boosters, and a form of self-care. And you deserve all the self-care in the world.
About the Author:
Brittany Bella Graham is a Writer, Creative Director, Strategist and lingerie aficionado. Her 1:1 mentorship program for spiritual entrepreneurs, The Chrysalis (Witchy Edition), helps business owners harness their personal magick, scale without energetic depletion and ask for compensation without feeling like an imposter. Find out more at www.MissBellaGraham.com or follow her on Instagram at @MsBellaGraham.