A Sexier You: 2 Playful Pleasure Practices

LOVE YOURSELF, SEXY: ALL OF YOU

When you look in the mirror, where do your eyes rest first? What’s your favorite physical feature about yourself? Is it your lips, eyes, breasts, curves, slender, or big and beautiful frame? And beyond that, do you dream about how those aspects of yourself are reflected in the eyes of your lover(s)? 
 

What about your non-physical attributes? 

The unique, sexy or quirky talents, skills and personal experiences that make you, YOU?
 
The deeper you fall into wholeness, and the more you begin to internally find beauty in every single part of you, the more your external life will reflect that same radiance. It will be like sunlight filtering through a bedroom window in the morning; slowly covering the entire room with warmth and promises of a new day. The benefits of such are enhancements to not just your overall life satisfaction, but the quality of the intimate, emotional and sexual connections you develop with your partner(s).
 
Inside each person, there are things we’re comfortable sharing with the world, and others that we hide away or pretend aren’t there. However, did you know that there are intimacy practices that you can engage in to connect deeper, and more intimately, with yourself – or a partner?
 
Read ahead to discover two, fun ways to become more YOU.


 

Masturbate in Front of a Mirror:

Did you know that a lot of people experience feelings of embarrassment surrounding their sexual performance, communicating their sexual needs to a partner, and/or the way their bodies look during the act of sex?
 
These thoughts can stem from deeper issues, so this practice isn’t a “fix” but rather a fun way to explore your feelings in a safe way. Masturbating in front of a mirror allows you to “see” yourself in experiencing pleasure without judgement, and releases the pressure around prioritizing someone else’s experience. You can go as fast, slow, soft or rough as you want, and you can also practice asking yourself for what you need so it feels more comfortable when you say the words to someone else.
 
We recommend Charmed, which has three buttons that allow you to control the vibrator’s pattern, power and speed – or  Girl's Best Friend, which simulates cunnilingus and functions as a traditional vibrator – as options for finding the pleasure points that work for you.
 

Play “Kiss Me Here” with a Partner:

We all have areas of our body that we feel self-conscious about. However, did you know that experiencing yourself through the eyes of someone you care about can help soothe some of the anxiety away? Exploring touch and intimacy with a partner can be a rewarding release for both your body and emotions.
 
“Kiss Me Here” is probably more foreplay than exercise, as you both probably won’t want to end the game, but it’s a great way to affirm your body through praise. Start by sharing two or three parts of your body with your partner that could “use a little love.” We utilize the phrase “a little love” to avoid voicing displeasure about our bodies, and to instead direct our partners to grant those places loving attention. Make your request as flirty, fun, humorous, seductive or serious as you want. If you’re shy about initiating sex, this is also a great way to indirectly get the ball rolling.
 
For instance, if you’re self-conscious about your belly weight, thighs, breasts or any body part, you can tell your partner to “give it a little love” with soft kisses. Or hard, passionate ones. Whatever your preference!
 
Regardless of whichever suggestion you decide to experiment with first, remember that becoming YOU is a road trip that never ends. As you move along in life, you’ll never cease to find new, beautiful pit stops to marvel at, reflect on and pass through.
 
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Bella Graham


Bella Graham is a Marketing Strategist, Writer and Dark Feminine Glamorist. She’s spent the past several years working in Tech, Travel, Fashion and Entertainment with Fortune 500 companies such as Google, Fashion Week and Rolls Royce. As a therapist in training (MFT), Bella now combines her professional and mental health expertise to help women achieve their relationship and career goals; tap into their sensuality, reclaim their divine feminine power and develop their own spiritual agency. Her platform, Muse by Midnight, will launch later this year.